So yeah.... hey,
Hope everyone is doing good and being happy. Its really nice to see that some people are being happy and having an awesome life. Some of you guys deserve every single bit of it. You wet through some shit and now its everything happy for you and hope it stays the same.
Cant really say the same for me too tho. You might have noticed and those who read my last journals and saw my drawings that i havent been doing well. Ummm, things have been getting worse. Im really sorry to say that and if you dont want to read any further or you are too sensitive please stop here
Oh... i see you want to continue... ok. So, ive been having some major issues and some small issues too. Ill start with the small ones first just to prepare the grounds. So the last two months ive lost a lot of people once i learned that they only were close to me just to take advantage of me. Ive been ditched and badly ''teased'' for the last two months by people i trusted. So yeah these were the stupid small issues. Now about the big ones. Some of you may know i have some health issues. Yeah about those, they became worse. Ive spent days and days in the hospitals, fainted a lot and lost my heart rate a ton of times the past 2-3 weeks. And i hate to admit it, but some things that i do make it even worse. The only thing i can say is that i started smoking 2 months ago. I aint that proud about it but it was the only way to soothe my psychological pain, even if it fucked up my body and health. Another thing is that both my parents turned out to have major issues with their health. Havent talked with my dad for a week because i never get to see him (work and shit i suppose) and then my mom is fighting with her heart, coughing and having back pains every day. Then there are a shit ton of fucking stuff with my family going on and i dont even want to know anything anymore.
Thats all. Most of my news packed up and some of them will just be kept with me because its not something easy to reveal and tell. Sorry guys but ill keep a part of the story hidden.
Also i wanted to say that im sorry for not being there with you people on your happy times. I want to, i really do but i just cant. It hurts that i wasnt able to be there for some of you, congratulate you, send you my cheers and show you how much i fucking love you. But i need to deal with life who slapped me in the face suddenly and left me unprepared for situations like these. Wish i could talk to some certain people again... like the old days... i feel that ive been drifted away and maybe been forgotten by some of you. But what can we do? Thats how it goes no? Anyways a million thanks to those of you who read this till the end. I really appreciate it.
One last thing Please, dont write comments saying ''you can talk to me'' and ''ill be there for you'' I really appreciate them but it hurts when i cant reply to those heart warming comments of yours....sorry
Bye everyone, ill try to log in here more often once im done with health, hospitals and family.
I havent lost just yet. I wont give up just yet. There is a lot to fight for.